The Return of Aunt Flo

Due to breastfeeding and my wonderful Progesterone-Only-Pill (known as a POP), my monthly cycles did not start up again after Tree Faerie's birth. In essence, I have not had a cycle since April 7th, 2006. Of course, that is not including the shedding of the lochia, because I don't consider that a cycle.

Taking the amoxicillin has kick-started a menstral cycle because it negates the POP. Thankfully this cycle is nowhere near the cycles I had prior to getting pregnant. The cramps have been mild, the moodswings have been mild, and overall I feel pretty good. I even cleaned off my desk yesterday!

Cleaning off my desk is a really big deal. Apparently, I've been nesting for the last two years. I had surrounded myself with piles of paperwork, some of which needed to be filed, some needed to be shredded, and some just needed to be thrown away. When I stopped pumping at the beginning of the year, I wanted to get myself a treat for pumping for a full year. My desk was so overflowing, though, that I told myself I couldn't get my treat until after I cleaned off my desk. It took the return of Aunt Flo to give me the motivation to clean off my desk. I had several people stop me and ask if I was planning to return from lunch.

After picking up Tree Faerie from daycare yesterday, we immediately headed over to the pet store to pick up feeder fish for Creature, the garter snake we are currently housing, and my treat. This is what my treat looks like:


This is not my actual fish because I don't have my camera with me. I named him Hank after Henry Rollins, who's birthday is tomorrow. DTTF is a huge fan of dear old Hank, and he got me hooked several years ago. I got to meet him a couple of years ago, and even had him sign a dollar bill.

So, now I have a betta fish on my desk in a green-based aquarium. The hum of the filter is going to take a little while to get used to, but Hank the Fish is adapting very well to his new home. He dislodged the plants, though, so they're floating at the top of the tank. I think I'm going to get some decorative gravel instead of just the brown stuff, and I'll fix the plants when I put in the new gravel.

Solitary Saturday

While Tree Faerie and I are both feeling much better, we really miss DTTF. Or at least I do. All Tree Faerie has wanted to do all day is nurse and sleep. What really sucks is that I can't just call him up.

Well, I could, but I'd probably just get his voicemail, or on the off-chance that he actually does have a signal out there, I don't want to interrupt anything. When he has to work on Saturdays, I miss him, but I know I'll see him in just a few hours. I won't see DTTF until tomorrow! It seems like forever away.

I haven't heard back from my friend I was trying to make plans with, so I guess I'm flying solo tonight for Parents Night Out. I'm actually pondering going to a movie all by myself, something I've NEVER done. Then again, I may just go ahead and go to Barnes and Noble. Another option is to wait until another friend of mine should be awake and call her to see what she's doing before work. She works 3rd shift, so I know she'll be up and probably be free beforehand. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

DTTF asked me why they scheduled two PNOs so close together. I pointed out that the daycare probably thought they'd be nice and offer one close to Valentine's Day to give parents a chance for a romantic dinner. While I don't really NEED a romantic dinner, this thought definitely makes me miss DTTF more.

And before you point it out, yes, I'm fully aware that I'm a co-dependent person. I've come a long way, but I will freely admit that I depend on DTTF for a lot of things.

Like tackling the playpen when I can't get it to work right... I woke up this morning to a very, very dirty child who had a very, very dirty bed. After I cleaned up the child, rinsed all the bedding, and started the washer, I dismantled her bed, took it outside, washed it off, and sprayed it with Lysol. I left it sitting in the sun to freshen up and dry. What sucks is that when I set the bed back up outside, I apparently did it wrong, because only one side clicks into place but I can't get it to release now that it has clicked. I figured I'll go ahead and let it soak up some sun, and later this afternoon, Tree Faerie and I can go outside and wrestle with it. If all else fails, I can always have her sleep in my bed tonight. I just don't get much sleep that way. Surely I'll be able to fix it, though.

Okay, enough rambling. I think I hear the kiddo stirring.

A Bully in the Making

Tree Faerie is cutting a new tooth - the front upper right tooth. There is an obvious bump on her gums, but the tooth hasn't quite broken through yet. She hasn't wanted to chew on anything cold this time, though, only cool, room temperature, or warm (like ME!). Once this tooth breaks through, that will give her a total of 3 teeth.

I am certainly not complaining, though, especially after the week we've had. Tree Faerie has bit my nipples multiple times, which is to be expected since I'm still nursing her. What wasn't expected was the hair-pulling and pinching she's started doing. The only thing more irritating than being pinched is having my hair pulled (all sexual comments aside). Nothing irritates me more than her grubby little hands reaching out and grabbing a handful of hair. I don't mind if she gently strokes my hair or lets it flow through her fingers, but when she grabs a handful and yanks, I really want to do terrible things! Instead I just scream, which she finds hilarious.

Wednesday night, however, I finally started fighting back. When she grabbed the first handful of hair, I pried her fingers open and told her to stop. The second time, she grabbed two fistfuls and hung on for dear life! So, I did what my mother told me to do - I pulled her hair! Needless to say, she wasn't too thrilled with her hair being pulled, which I didn't do very hard. She didn't let go of my hair, though, so I did it again. We got into a little hair-pulling battle for a few minutes, during which she sat on my face and farted, but she finally let go of my hair.

And proceeded to pinch and scratch me repeatedly.

By this point, the pinching didn't seem so bad. At least for the first minute and a half. I finally started pinching her back! I didn't pinch her hard enough to make a mark, but hard enough to let her know how annoying it felt. She finally stopped and we moved on to tickling and kisses.

I know Tree Faerie knows the meaning of the words No, Stop, Don't, and Gentle. Since she's choosing not to heed these words, she's now learning what the phrase, "If you don't stop, I'm going to do it to you and see how you like it!" I know I'm supposed to be the adult in this relationship, but sometimes you have to talk to them on their level, right?

Though if I ever wished to be one year old again, I don't think hair-pulling, pinching, scratching, and biting would be on my list of things-I-want-to-do-again.

The Weekend My Mom Turned 50

Friday evening we were in no hurry to head out because I planned to leave around Tree Faerie's bedtime in hopes that she would sleep the whole way. I have to pat myself on the back for that one because it worked! She slept the whole way! I drove straight through without stopping because I didn't want to chance waking her up. Since my bladder wasn't yelling at me to pull over, we just decided to keep driving.

We got to my parents' house around 12:45 AM, and as expected, Tree Faerie woke as soon as we turned off the car. She was in a good mood, though, and wanted to play for a while. We visited for a little while and finally headed to bed around 3 AM. I know this only because while I was trying to nurse Tree Faerie to sleep, the clock chimed and did its little song. Thankfully it didn't wake her back up, but I was holding my breath just in case.

The next morning she decided 7 AM was a good time to get up. Mom made scrambled eggs with cheese and toast, which was Tree Faerie's first time trying scrambled eggs. She seemed to like them okay, and she really enjoyed throwing them in the floor. My parents have a little dog that did not mind her sharing breakfast.

After breakfast, Pop brought Tree Faerie's late birthday present in. They crafted a Rocking Harley for her! It's absolutely adorable! And PURPLE! I promise to post pictures soon.

We left DTTF there sleeping while Mom, Tree Faerie, and I went to the store. Since Tree Faerie fell asleep on the way, I sat in the parking lot and waited for Mom to pick up a few things. As I sat there watching people come and go, I realized that I could have a 10 year old child right now if I hadn't been so careful. I started adding it up and figured out that one of the girls from my graduating class now has a 15 year old. I'm really glad I waited as long as I did because I'm ready to enjoy being a mother without feeling like she's holding me back or like she's a burden.

After we got back, we had lunch and made cheese dip, and I swept and mopped Mom's kitchen floor for her. My Upward Bound friends showed up just as I finished, and they brought home-made strawberry cheesecake. We all visited for a while, and I must say I'm really glad kids start small and work their way up, because if I was just handed a 3- and a 5-year-old, I'd probably pull my hair out. But the kids were cute, and we had fun talking.

That night after Pop went to work, we took Mom to dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant where they serve crab legs and shrimp. I quickly discovered my kid can really make a mess. Between the crackers, the fortune cookies, the chicken and then the jello, I practically had to bathe her with baby wipes.

Sunday morning, Tree Faerie got up with Mom and let Mom change her diaper and play with her for a while before waking me up, which was a perfect birthday present for "Grams". We had biscuits and gravy for breakfast, then we finished making the crescent rolls Mom started when she got up that morning. The crescent rolls were delicious!

When I asked Mom how it feels to be 50, she said, "Oh, about like 49." We discussed that it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be when she was my age, and that 30 was the hard birthday for her. My mom is a pretty amazing woman and has been through a lot. I really admire her in a lot of ways.

We headed back a couple of hours later than I had intended, but Tree Faerie decided to take a nap before we left, and Mom fell asleep, too. We got back to Memphis around 8 on Sunday night, and I only had to ride in the back seat for the last hour of the trip. Before Tree Faerie was born, I never even considered the possibility that I would be breastfeeding in the backseat of a car doing 80 mph down the interstate. And before you ask, yes, Tree Faerie was still buckled into her car seat. I was practicing my contortionist skills.

It was a wonderful weekend. While I'm sure we'll head down there several times over the next few years, I look forward to taking her down there sometime when she's older and telling her the stories from when I was growing up. I just hope she's interested in hearing the stories.

Thoughts on Weaning

9 DTY/12 DTC (Days-'til-Yule/Days-'til-Christmas)

I believe the weaning process has officially begun. While Tree Faerie still LOVES to nurse, she's only taking two bottles at daycare, so I only have to pump once a day now. I'm still not producing well since I had the stomach bug, so I have not had any problems with engorgement. In 16 days, I won't have to pump at all.

I won't miss the pumping, but I'm not sure what it's going to do to my supply. I feel pretty empty right now, and I'm still producing at least half as much as I was. When Tree Faerie nurses, sometimes I think, There's nothing in there! What am I going to do if she throws a fit because she doesn't get anything? Of course, she always manages to get milk.

I must admit I'm also a little afraid of the hormonal changes weaning will send me through. I'm hoping that if we wean slowly I won't end up on a roller coaster ride of hormonal fluctuations. I'm very emotionally sensitive to hormonal changes and really don't want to have that explosive, uncontrolled feeling that I usually get when my hormones change.

One of the aspects of weaning I want to focus on is night-weaning. Tree Faerie has never been a great sleeper. In fact, it's rare for her to go more than 4 hours without waking up to nurse. Usually she sleeps 2 or 3 hours before waking. Sometimes it's every 45 minutes. I know that most of those times she's just wanting comfort because I can often get her settled back down and back in bed in about 20 minutes or so. I've been practicing only coming to her when she actually demands to nurse instead of coming to her every time she whimpers.

The hardest thing about this is the fact that I DON'T LIKE CHANGE. I have to make changes slowly and prepare myself well for them. Tree Faerie has taken matters into her own hands a couple of times already when I was taking my own sweet time and she was ready for change (like refusing to be spoon-fed and now weaning herself off the bottles). I kept hoping she'd decide to night-wean, but no. She likes the boob too much. I also know that nursing is one of the ways she reconnects with me after being at daycare all day.

Because I don't like change, I tend to procrastinate A LOT. So, right now I'm working on preparing myself for the change ahead, though I'm still having a hard time taking my foot off the brake and putting it on the gas pedal.

11 Months

Dear Tree Faerie,


As always, you never cease to amaze me. You're beautiful and intelligent, plus you have a great sense of humor and love music of any kind. As long as it has a beat, you'll dance to it, even if it's just me tapping the spoon on the side of the pan while cooking! If one of us is laughing, you'll laugh, too, and try to make us laugh more. You must be the center of attention, and when you're not, you do everything you can to be so, from the cute babbling to the not-so-cute fit-throwing.



Tooth #2 finally broke through and has slowly been working its way up. It is taking its own sweet time doing so, though, so you've been chewing on everything. You have learned what you are allowed to put in your mouth and what you're not, though that doesn't necessarily stop you from testing the boundaries. Odds are, if it comes off the carpet, it's not allowed, and you're really good about opening your mouth to allow me to remove things without much of a fight.


We managed to only go to the doctor's office twice this month - once for the flu shot and once for your labial adhesion. Thankfully the adhesion should go away as you get older. The day we went to the doctor for that, though, you also came down with croup. We didn't give you any medicine for it because you were scheduled to get the flu shot a few days later. We didn't turn on the heater, and I put Baby Vicks on your feet each night to help us all sleep a little better. I was surprised at how well it worked at keeping your cough at bay!


You got to see Grams and Papaw for Thanksgiving, along with my Grandma and several other members of your extended family. I love watching Grams play with you because her face lights up just like it used to when I was a little girl. It's wonderful to hear you both laughing. You didn't want to try the banana pudding, but there will be other opportunities for you to try it later. You and I wore matching outfits - our striped overalls and red shirts - and Papaw wore his striped overalls, too.



Papaw is growing his beard back out, and you weren't quite sure what to think of it at first. He let you play with it, as I'm sure he will for years to come. He also took us for a ride in his Mule, which I call his Old-Man-Wheeler. You sat very, very still, but you seemed to enjoy yourself. I know I did!





One of your favorite things to do lately is "help" me with the laundry and cleaning. Of course, your idea of helping is by pulling all the clean clothes out of the basket or dryer and strew them around the floor to create your very own pallet.



You also enjoy wiping down different things like the window sills and the bathtub. You even 'wash' yourself when you're in the tub. I finally found a bath mat I like using, and it has saved me a lot of stress.



You are currently transitioning to the toddler room. I'm glad that your daycare transitions you slowly, however you seem to have no problems with the toddler room. They tell me you were great every day and just played and checked things out as if you belonged in there. I was the one who was nervous! But I've talked to the teachers in there, and they are both very nice. I'm sure you'll continue to have a great time!

One of the things I was worried about was that they don't allow toddlers to have bottles, only sippy cups with whole milk. I was afraid you would have a hard time giving up the bottles, but you seem to have taken that into your own hands, similar to when you stopped eating food from a spoon. The only thing I can consistently get you to take from a spoon is yogurt, which I have to feed you again because you had thrush. You've pretty much stopped taking bottles at daycare, though. I was about to take you to the doctor to see if it was an ear infection when you came down with yet another cold. I'm going to wait until after this cold is over before taking you in, because I still want to confirm that it is just your will and not something else wrong. You haven't stopped nursing, so I'm not too worried.



You seem to love your daddy more and more each day. I love how you sit at the bottom of the stairs and holler up at him when he's upstairs and you're not. You call to him quite often when he's not in the room with you, even when he's not home. He loves you so much! He doesn't cave in to you like I do when you throw tantrums, though. And it's not necessarily that I cave in, I just try to get you to stop screaming by distracting you.



You've been practicing your walking skills this month. You now only need to hang on to one of our fingers in order to walk around the house. I can see that you want to take a step completely unassisted, but at the last minute, you just plop on your butt.

On the weekend before your 11-month-birthday, I put up our holiday tree while you were napping. I got the tree put together, lit, and had about half the ornaments on before you woke up. The look of wonderment on your face was well worth the rush! After I finished decorating the tree, we put stuffed animals under the tree instead of presents. I know how much you enjoy ripping paper, so I figured you could play with the stuffed animals and we'll keep the presents elsewhere. Storm has taken over one of the stuffed animals, though. She keeps kneading biscuits on the dog wearing the Santa hat, which your daddy thinks is a violation of the dog.

As always, thank you for being such a wonderful kid. You have brought so much to our lives! I love you, Tree Faerie!

XOXO,

Mama

Transitioning

Starting next week, Tree Faerie will begin transitioning to the toddler room at daycare. The transition period lasts 4 weeks. During the first week, one of the infant room teachers will take her to the toddler room for about 15 minutes in the morning and in the afternoon. On Week 2, one of the toddler room teachers will come get Tree Faerie and take her to the toddler room for about 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon. Tree Faerie will spend an hour in the morning and afternoon on Week 3. The last week of transitioning, Tree Faerie will go to the toddler room in the morning and stay through the morning nap, then go back to the infant room.

This morning I talked to the head teacher of the toddler room she'll be moving into. The woman was very nice and personable. I was really nervous about the transition and she was able to ease my nervousness quite a bit. The toddlers only take one nap a day around mid-day, and they don't give the toddlers bottles at all, only sippy-cups. They are given regular whole milk or juice during the two snack-times and lunch. This means I won't have to pump anymore starting the first week of January. While I'm kind of happy about it, I'm also kind of sad. My baby is growing up!

So, do any of you have words of wisdom to help me through this transition? I'm sure Tree Faerie will be fine with it. I'm the one who has a problem with change. If you would prefer, you can email me at asumers at gmail dot com.

Veterans Day

Happy Veterans Day! To all the veterans I hold dear to my heart, thank you for serving this great country of ours. This includes, my mother, my step-father, my biological father, 3 uncles, and lots of friends. While I may not always agree with the reason for our military involvement in some things, I definitely support the people who serve in the military. It takes a lot of honor and commitment to endure some of the hardships you encounter, and I admire you for it. Again, thank you.

In other news...

***Warning: I'm talking about Breasts again! If you don't want to know, skip to the next ***.

I have ANOTHER plugged duct! The first one cleared out Friday night, bringing wonderful relief and leaving only a little tenderness. Yesterday evening, I discovered another one slightly to the right of where the first on was. I don't know what I'm doing that keeps causing these, but I do not enjoy them in the least. I slept with the heating pad last night, which made it feel better, and it's moving down today. The moving part is only painful when it actually moves or when it's time to pump. The rest of the time, I'm fine.

***It is now safe to read again.***

We had a good weekend. NaBloPoMo is actually rather difficult because it's hard to find time to just sit and write when I'm at home. Any down time I have at home is spent doing other things. But a short post is better than no post at all, right? Saturday night we went to a chili cookout at a friend's house in the country. I really admire that she drives SO far to come to work. I don't see me doing that in this life. We all had a great time. Sunday was spent doing laundry and taking it easy. No major drama and nothing stressful = my kind of weekend.

This morning I got my flu shot, and Tree Faerie will have hers on Saturday morning. I figure with her in daycare and me working, we can't afford to get the flu. DTTF isn't getting the flu shot, but he's a big boy and can take care of himself. I bought Vicks Vaporub just for the occasion and even shared!

For those of you who don't know, if you put Vicks Vaporub on the shot site after getting a shot, it relieves and reduces the soreness. A lady who works for one of our clients told me about this a few hours after Tree Faerie got her 4-month shots. I didn't use it immediately, but the next day her legs were really tender, and she screamed whenever the daycare teachers touched her legs. I had to go pick her up from daycare because they couldn't console her. I put Baby Vicks on her thighs as soon as we got home (and yes, she screamed), and within 30 minutes I had a happy baby again instead of a scream-monster. I've been a believer ever since.

Finally Friday - Breastfeeding

Well, it's finally Friday, and I'm counting down the hours until the weekend officially starts (2 hrs, 53 minutes from right now). Of course, I'm going into the weekend with a plugged duct that's working it's way out. Not fun. Thankfully it is working it's way out and not sticking around to cause mastitis. I caught it early, so I was able to begin treatment immediately. Ah, the joys of breastfeeding.

I know that breastfeeding does not work for everyone, either because of their beliefs or their bodies. Personally, I still find it amazing that my body produces Tree Faerie's food. Sometimes it amazes me even more that she actually likes it and prefers it over solid food! I think she'd nurse pretty much all day if I let her. She tries to nurse all night. Just call me Mama' Buffet...

Still, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know I will be sad when we wean in a few months, though the bonds we created over the past 10 months will hopefully last forever. Thankfully, Tree Faerie likes to snuggle, so at least I'll still get snuggles and kisses. I want her to be weaned by the time she turns two, not because I think it's wrong for a toddler to still nurse, but because I don't think it's for me. My parenting style is mostly baby-led, so I'm hoping she'll take the reins and decide she's done nursing before I have to force the issue.

Of course, when I say force, I mean to gradually reduce the number of nursing sessions until we ultimately cut them out entirely.

And because I have a plugged duct, this is what is on my mind as we head into the weekend.

Funky Sock Friday

We finally made it to Friday, and the weather here has finally dropped below 80 degrees for the high. This morning I sent Tree Faerie to daycare in size 12 month pink corduroy pants, a size 12 month white and pink shirt that had some cute saying on it (but I can't remember exactly what it said), and PURPLE SOCKS WITH SPIDERS that in no way matched what she was wearing! So, I've now dubbed this Funky Sock Friday and hope to have started a tradition with my daughter. I wear funky socks a lot. The ones I'm wearing today have kittens all over them. I have a pair with monkeys, cute holiday socks, and I will soon purchase Halloween socks, too.

Today is going better than the rest of the week has. I took Tree Faerie to the doctor again yesterday afternoon because I was afraid she had another ear infection. Turns out it's not an ear infection yet, just fluid in the ears and a head cold. So, the doc wrote a script for amoxycillin just in case things got worse (i.e. if she continues pulling on her ears and doesn't seem to be getting any relief) and told me to give Tree Faerie benedryl to relieve some of her stuffiness. Last night was the first night this week that she let me actually get more than an hour of sleep at a time. Of course, if I wasn't aware of how bad she's feeling (clearly stated by my sunshiny baby being a storm cloud), her benedryl-induced daze might be funny.

An old friend of mine Sooj was in town last night and dropped in to see us. While I knew I missed her since she's been hopping all over the country playing shows and spinning fire, I didn't realize just how much I had missed her until I actually got to see her. Sooj is an absolutely amazing woman with an awesome voice, and her abilities on the guitar are purely magickal (spelled that way intentionally). I will always be able to say I knew her before she was famous and even get to sing with her on occasion, which I love doing and can do pretty well as long as there's not a microphone involved (I'll explain my fear of microphones another time). She has a show tonight in Missouri and one tomorrow night in downtown Memphis. Check out her website, http://www.skinnywhitechick.com/, for more information and to hear some of her music.

I also taught my first Outer Court class last night, and I didn't do too bad of a job! I even managed to breastfeed while teaching! Thankfully the group is a very open one and can handle such things. I actually rolled several interrelating topics into one class and even had time for exercises at the end. I know we will expound upon those topics again in the future, but I feel that it will be more on an individual basis so that we can help each person find what works for them.

My plans for the weekend were scrapped by someone else, so I decided to make my own. I'm still waiting to confirm the new plans, but even if those are scrapped as well, I have a Plan C as well! So, the weekend is mine to conquer!

Breast Fest

Since I can't actually breastfeed at 10 AM because of work, this is my contribution to the Breast Fest!