Not a Normal Woman

After a conversation DTTF and I had on Wednesday night that was later hit home by this post by Heather at Three Boys and Me, I have no choice but to admit that I am not a Normal woman. Here's why:

• I do not wear make-up. In fact, the only make-up I own is mascara and eyeliner. I have these items around JUST IN CASE the need to feel a little extra made-up arises. I honestly can't remember the last time I wore actual make-up all over my face. I recently read an article that stated that the average woman absorbs 4 lbs of chemicals from make-up a year. I absorb my 4 lbs from chocolate instead.



• I do not regularly use hair products besides shampoo and conditioner or spend much time on my hair at all. I don't even own hair spray. I know I have mouse under the bathroom sink, but I've only used it a few times in the past 6 years or so.



• I do NOT wear perfume. I'm allergic/sensitive to most of the perfumes on the market. I even sniff the shampoo and conditioner before I purchase them just to be sure they aren't overly scented.



• I rarely shave my legs. Granted, I am not a very hairy person. The hair on my legs grows in very fine and blonde. I do shave my pits once a week or so, and I keep certain other areas trimmed and neat, but I definitely count myself lucky.



• I don't get manicures or pedicures. In fact, I've never received a pedicure. On rare occasion I paint my fingernails or toenails, and when I do, it's always either a light color or a shocking color. If it's a shocking color, I usually take it off after a day or two. If it's a light color and it's on my toenails, it may wear off before I get around to taking it off.



• I don't sacrifice comfort for fashion. I own one pair of heels, and I can't remember the last time I wore them. I won't wear an outfit that is uncomfortable in any way. Before I purchase clothing, I always check the tag. If it is not machine washable, I put it back, no matter how cute I looked in it.



• The only "hose" I own are fishnets. I don't wear hose. On the off-chance that I must dress up and wear heels and hose, I'll go out and purchase a cheap pair. Because they're cheap, they usually have holes in them before the end of the night. I'll buy thigh-highs or knee-highs if I can get away with it.



• I don't buy cute bras. First-off, they usually don't have any in my size, either because everyone is that size or no one is. Second, see the comfort comment above. Once I find a bra that is comfortable, I usually buy at least 2 - one beige and one black. I wear them until they're practically falling apart.

That's just the list of appearance items we could come up with! We didn't even discuss my affinity for fart jokes and innuendos. I play video games, know the rules of football, and can skin dead animals properly. I don't watch chick-flicks because I really don't need a reason to cry.

My husband concurred that while I may not be a "normal" woman, I'm a real woman, and this is part of the reason he loves me so much. (insert the "awww" here)

So I took a test:

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female. You are both sensitive and savvy. Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed. But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Busy as a Bee

I have a lot of work to get done today and impending deadlines. Hopefully we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming shortly. I'll catch up on all of your posts then.

This Week in Summary

Well, folks, we made it to Friday. I was beginning to think the end of the week would never come! These trials that come our way now prepare us for future experiences, right? And what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger? And this too shall pass?

If anyone had said any of these cliches to me this week, I might have actually choked them. Or at least I would have had the urge to choke them and might have glared at them just a tiny little bit.

The High Points of this week:

• I'm really not a bad mother. I can actually take care of some things on my own and have gotten better about not panicking about the things I can't.
• I have actually gotten more than 4 hours of sleep in a row at least three times this week! It's a new record!
• I <3>
• I love baby snuggles!
• I got the flu shot, but it didn't make me sick. Plus, it gave me an opportunity to try the Vicks Vaporub (the adult kind) on a shot site that I KNOW would be sore without it. It really and truly works! (Plus, did you know it actually says on the jar that it's great for muscle and joint aches? Who knew? I'm learning a lot more now that I've started reading ENTIRE labels instead of just what I want to know.)
• I love blankets. Soft, snuggly blankets are divine! Since it's been chilly lately, I've had more opportunity to snuggle under one or two. The only thing I need to go with it is a good book and time to read it. I'll take snuggling with Tree Faerie instead, though, especially since I know I won't always have the opportunity to snuggle with her when I want to. The books can wait.

The Low Points of this week:

• Labial adhesion. Creepy, but thankfully not dangerous. We're going to monitor it instead of using the hormones right now because according to the doctor, if they have it this young, the child will usually develop it again and again. We really don't want to give her hormones, even absorbed through the skin, for years. Cross your fingers that she didn't get mine and my mother's plumbing and isn't prone to bladder and kidney infections, otherwise getting a urine sample will be difficult.
• Croup. While Tree Faerie is apparently having a "calm" case of croup, its still not much fun. She is so precious, and while I love that she wants to snuggle a lot while she is sick, I don't want her to be sick. I keep telling her to stop kissing those babies at daycare, but what can I say? I was the same way! Plus, I like having a kissy baby! I just wish she'd be a little pickier about who she kisses.
• Darkness. Why does it have to get dark so early? Plus, half of the week was even dark during the day! I NEED SUNSHINE!

Okay, so I had 6 high points and only 3 low points. That's not such a bad week! All I needed was a change in perspective!

Saturday Subtleties

During lunch yesterday a friend stops by to pick up something she'd left here last weekend. This is the same friend who is the poster-child for the reason to have more than one, so we'll call her OC for Only Child. This particular friend reminds me of myself sometimes, though the self she reminds me of is the self I was several years ago. Especially when she's PMSing.

You see, I used to think it was NORMAL to have absolutely no control over one's emotions for a week, and only slightly more control over what came out of one's mouth during that time, stuff which was usually illogical and emotionally-based. It wasn't until DTTF experienced my PMS first-hand that I discovered that this was not normal. He said I was the first person - outside of drama class - that could go through 7 different emotions in 3 minutes and come out of it as if nothing was unusual. He was amazed!

I'd always experienced PMS this way, and because my mother did, too, it didn't seem odd at all to me. Once DTTF and I started sharing an abode, I started tracking (mentally) my emotions and my reactions to things. I taught myself how to control my reaction. I still had the raging emotions, but the instances that I had to go back and apologize for later were much fewer and far between.

I haven't had a cycle now for a year and a half, since I still have not started my cycle after Tree Faerie's birth due to breastfeeding in combination with that little pink pill (Camilla is the brand - in case anyone is interested in a birth control pill to take while breastfeeding that doesn't make them any more nuts than motherhood does). Talking with OC yesterday made me realize how much I appreciate not having a cycle right now, especially since motherhood itself has sent me through an emotional roller-coaster anyway.

When I do start my cycle back, I hope that either it's changed for the better and won't be so straining or I remember easily everything that I had figured out before getting pregnant with Tree Faerie so that I won't be a monster once a month. At least I took the time to figure it out, which should help tremendously when Tree Faerie gets a cycle of her own. Hopefully she'll have a cycle more like her Nana (DTTF's mom) than mine, but just in case, I'm prepared.

Waiting

This is a lame post because I'm waiting and only have a short amount of time. I'm waiting on lunch to finish cooking and I'm waiting on DTTF's mom to come by. I'm waiting to see if we are going to a movie or staying home. I'm just waiting...

Oh! Lunch is ready!

Happy Halloween!!!

Or Samhain, for those who celebrate that, too.



Last night I had to go to Wal-Mart (yes, I know it's an evil place that is horrible to their workers and runs small - or even large - business out of business, but I'm having to pinch pennies here) for diapers, toilet paper, and Halloween candy. The place was packed! I went to browse the Halloween aisles and found that it had all been consolidated (or crammed) into one aisle. There was absolutely no way I could drive my cart down the aisle because there were so many people trying to pick up last-minute Halloween decorations and costume essentials. It was nuts! On the aisles that used to house the Halloween stuff, you know what I found? CHRISTMAS STUFF! Already! Later I found a small bit of Thanksgiving decorations and items on a clearance aisle, but even Thanksgiving had been moved aside to make way for Christmas!

This is Tree Faerie's first Halloween, and I didn't even buy her a costume. I did buy her a couple of really cute Halloween pajama sets, though, and I sent her to daycare today in one of the pajama shirts, a pair of jeans, and a pair of jack-o-lantern socks. I just couldn't bring myself to spend $20 on something she would wear once! I plan on letting her wear the pj's until she grows out of them, not to mention they were only $5 a set.

This is our second Halloween in this house, and also the second year to give out candy. Last year we had a blast scaring the kids. This is what they saw when they came to the door (only all the lights were out in the house, so we were only lit by the streetlights):

People actually thought he was fake, and when they were at the door getting candy from me, he'd speak and move, scaring everyone. One little girl (who wasn't even in a costume, so this totally made it okay), was so scared that she ran away! She kept coming back, though, because she really wanted the candy! After about the fourth time, I figured she'd been entertaining enough that she deserved at least one piece! We had a blast, and we were blaring Midnight Syndicate, which made it that much creepier.

I was kneeled down in the floor where the candy bowl is in the picture. I would upload a picture of me from last Halloween, but I was really bloated and pregant all over, which is pretty scary!

I'm not sure what we're going to do differently tonight, but I'll be sure to tell you all about it tomorrow!

Have a safe and happy holiday! MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Overheard

In the office today:

"Someday I'm going to have to crawl under my desk and pick up my husband..."

And what would YOU have said in response?

I just tried to contain my laughter. :)

Great Weekend

Just a quick note to say ZZ Top ROCKED, and I had a great weekend with my parents and Tree Faerie. I'm also feeling better emotionally/mentally and will post about it soon. I also have to post Tree Faerie's 8 month letter, but I'm so swamped today that it's not going to happen. So, more to come...

Don't Look Too Deep

I don't want to post today. I don't want to open up my head and start pouring things out, because today I think we'd have a flood, both of words and of tears. It's not just one thing but a conglomerate of things that have all built up and need to come out, but I just don't want to open the door.

So I'm not going to.

I doubt I'll be around during the next couple of days because my parents are coming to visit either tonight or tomorrow morning. Mom is going to the ZZ Top concert with me tomorrow night. They'll be leaving Saturday morning to be back in time for Pop to go to work, but we'll have all day Friday together, too. I'm glad they're coming to visit. I'm glad they get to see Tree Faerie. I'm also glad they're leaving on Saturday so I can have Sunday to recoup.

That's all. I'm done. If I type anymore, that door will open. Peace out, bloggerland!

The Passing of Time

(imagine this sung to a Caribbean beat)
Happy Birthday! To me! *butt shake*
Happy Birthday! To me! *butt shake*
Happy Birthday! To me! *butt shake*
Happy Birthday! To me! *butt shake, butt shake, butt shake*

As of 1:15 PM EDT, I am 27 years old. 27. To my dear husband, who will be 38 on Sunday, I'm still a baby, but 27 is a big deal to me. That's only 3 years away from 30!

I've noticed my perceptions regarding different aspects of life have changed dramatically over the last few years. Time seems to move much quicker now. When thinking in terms of the future, a year doesn't seem so long, a month seems merely a breath away, and a week passes in a blink of the eye. I remember not too long ago it sometimes seemed that a week was nearly for-ev-er!

My perception of emotion is different now, too. I still have the same emotions, and while their strength has not changed, I now have more experience in dealing with my emotions, so they don't seem so grandiose. The example I use is when you're 6 years old, all the adults seem REALLY TALL, but once you're a teen, most of them don't seem so tall anymore. Well, when you're a teen, all your emotions seem REALLY BIG, and sometimes you just know you're not going to survive this one. But most of us do, and by the time 10 years have passed, we usually know we'll survive yet another broken heart or embarrassing moment. The emotions are still as strong, but they're not so overwhelming.

I've been asked several times this morning, "Do you feel any older?" My answer has been the same every time:

I don't feel any older than I did yesterday, but compared to ten years ago, or even a year ago, I definitely feel older. Thankfully I also feel a bit wiser.

When We Grow Up

What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing it? Antique Mommy has a great post today about that exact thing, and it, with a little help from Manic Mom's post, inspired a lot of thinking.

I've ALWAYS wanted to be a mom, but that's the only thing that I've consistently wanted to be. And now I'm a mom. I love it, just as I knew I would and despite the lack of sleep and lack of personal time.

The other thing I wanted to be that I still have the desire for - a writer. When I was a kid, I used to write short stories, poetry, and even started a novel when I was 13, though I only wrote about 7 chapters. I wrote it in pencil in a wide-ruled spiral-bound notebook, and my handwriting is so atrocious that by the time I was working on the 7th chapter, I couldn't read the first.

Well, now I type. I type MUCH faster and, of course, more clearly than I write with a pen. What's stopping me from writing a book? I can type almost as fast as I can think and still be able to READ what I typed, whereas when I'm writing by hand, if I'm on a roll, it takes an interpreter to figure out what I wrote. Seriously. And even then, they're guessing.

I have a couple of book ideas rolling around in my head. I might as well spit them out, let them have a bit of water/sunshine/love, and watch them grow just to see what they become.

What's stopping me, you ask? Laziness. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear that I won't complete yet another project.

I use the excuse that I don't know how to start writing a book. That's B.S. I know how to start writing. First, I have to get the idea out. I just don't feel like I know where to take it from there. I've done copy-editing, so I know that most books go through many changes before being published. I am just afraid that I won't be able to get it to the point where it can even be SUBMITTED to a publishing company.

Okay, now that I've exposed my fears, maybe seeing them in black-and-white will help me overcome them and get motivated enough to start writing...

*****
Other things I've wanted to be when I grew up (in no particular order):
Actor
Singer
Musician
Dancer
Marine Biologist
Medical Doctor
Librarian
Veteranarian
Massage Therapist
Naturopath
Lawyer
President of the United States
Herbalist

The ones I still have interest in are blue, and those are things I can still do while writing. You know what's not on there? My current profession. Nor is the profession I was going to get a degree in. I chose the degree to persue based on practicality, not what I want. I chose the degree because it's safe, and there's always a need for it, which means job security. I think I'll still get that degree because that degree can easily lead into other degrees, but I think I will also go ahead and start writing.

Aloha Friday!

Aloha Friday!
No work 'til Monday!
We're going to play today!
Aloha Friday!

We used to listen to a radio show in the afternoon on a local station before the station changed formats. On this radio show, Mike Evans would give us the Hollywood update every day, and every Friday, he always signed off with this song. It was something DTTF and I looked forward to every Friday. It marked the start of our weekend. Now the only thing we have to mark the weekend is the knowledge that we don't have to go into work the next morning. That, and pizza. We have pizza every Friday with only a few exceptions. And now we have pizza and Doctor Who.

I'm in love with the Doctor, by the way. I fell in love with him when Christopher Eccleston revived the series, and when the Doctor changed bodies, I was afraid I wouldn't love the new doctor, played by David Tennant. I should not have worried, because I'm more in love with the Doctor now than ever before.

DTTF is aware of this infatuation and is not opposed. He would be in love with him too if he swung that way. Instead, DTTF just loves the show and drools over the companions. Granted, DTTF used to watch the Doctor Who series years and years ago, maybe even before I was born!

Did I mention I'm robbing the grave? DTTF is 11 years my senior. And I couldn't love another man more.

Eyes Only for You

What a dork I am! I'm excited that on Friday I get a new pair of glasses!

I've been wearing contacts for 13 years now (I've been wearing corrective lenses, i.e. glasses, for 17 years - WOW!). During that time, I've had back-up glasses off and on, but I rarely wear them. My current pair of back-up glasses are about 5 years old, so the prescription is off. It would be fine if it were only a little off, but I can't even drive in my glasses now because my eyesight has gotten so much worse. My eyes are tired of wearing the contacts. As I've mentioned before, money has been a little tight around the Fey household, so I've been holding off on going to the eye doctor (not to mention I'm the world's best procrastinator). Now I have no choice. I've been wearing my last pair of contacts for entirely too long and really need to go to the eye doctor.

I called my normal eye doctor to find out how much it would be for the eye exam, the contact fitting (why do they have to do this every time, when I've been wearing contacts for years and it's NEVER CHANGED???), and 2 boxes of contacts. Even with the 'discounts' from our insurance plan, it was still going to cost me around $160. Fine. I decided yesterday that today I'd make an appointment.

Then the Fates stepped in.

I get home yesterday afternoon and on the kitchen counter I see a flyer for Eyes For You advertising several contact lens specials under $100. It had just come in the mail, and DTTF happened to go through the flier bundle instead of just chucking it. One of these specials was for 2 boxes of disposable contacts in the brand I wear plus the eye exam and all that other stuff. Another was for one pair of daily wear contacts, which I haven't worn in years, and a pair of glasses.

So, I called today and asked if I got the daily wears, would I be able to take the same prescription and get my disposables, either online or through them. The answer was...

YES!!!

So, now I'll have a new pair of glasses, a new pair of contacts, and I'll be able to order the disposables once we're more financially comfortable! I'm so excited!

I'm such a dork!

(In case you can't tell, DORK is my word of the day.)

Wait, were we talking about weight?

I am finally down to my pre-pregnancy weight! WooHoo! Sadly, that's still 30 lbs heavier than when we got married in July of '05, and 55 lbs heavier than when we started dating in '01. I'm celebrating my small successes as they come, which is much easier knowing that I've lost 40 lbs since giving birth.

I've started watching what I eat better, trying to limit my calories to around 2,000 since I'm still breastfeeding. I'm also trying to increase my physical activity, which is actually a lot harder than eating better. Who has time to exercise anymore? I don't seem to find much time. We go to Taekwando about once a week, though we didn't go last night because I was sick to my stomach. Other than that, when I get up to go to the bathroom, I make a quick (really quick) trek through the office. When I'm waiting on my queries to run, I sometimes do leg-lifts or squats. I bench-press my baby. I practice my Kegel exercises every time I think about it, and I've started adding a "tummy-tuck" when I remember to do the Kegels.

My husband is being very supportive, but I'm trying to get him to realize that I don't need a drill sergeant, I need a cheerleader. When I told him I don't want him being a drill sergeant, he responded that when privates are in boot camp, they hate their drill sergeants, but once they're done, they really appreciate their drill sergeants.

"Yes, but they don't marry their drill sergeants. I need my husband."

The other thing I keep hearing over and over in my head...

"I can't celebrate your successes and not criticize your failures."

Why not? That's what I try to do for HIM as a loving and supporting wife.

Focus, People, Focus!

Focus is something I seem to have NONE of today. I have started working on several projects several different times today but can’t seem to stay focused on any particular one in order to actually get anything accomplished. It could be because I’m hungry. I’m trying to watch what I eat and reduce my caloric intake, but I feel like I’m S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G. today! Yesterday was almost as bad and I noticed I wasn’t producing as much breast milk. So, I’ve tried to space out my eating a bit better today, but I still feel ravenous! At least I know I’m producing breast milk today.

I’ve started bringing my lunch instead of going to Subway ™ every day because I was spending about $120 a month on lunches. I picked up these little frozen dinner thingies that I’ve seen several other women in the office eat. My question is…

HOW DO THESE WOMEN NOT STARVE TO DEATH!

The meals are not filling. They are barely satisfying. They ARE cheap, however. I’m hungry within 2 hours of eating them, so if I get something else to eat, that makes them not as cheap, right? If I’m snacking on fruit or veggies or something all day, it would add to the cost of my daily meals, right? The problem is – I’m not prepared to be hungry!

*****

I just splurged on popcorn and a coke. So much for watching my calories today, because it’s definitely not LIGHT popcorn. Oh, no. It’s BUTTER LOVERS popcorn. If I eat the whole bag, that’s 425 calories, and we’re not even going to figure up the fat and such. Thankfully, I’m sharing. Want some?