Thursday, August 28, 2008

We're keeping him!

When we rescued the kitty, our original plan was to hold onto him until someone else could take him.  Well, on Monday when DTTF told me he had talked to a friend who agreed to take him, I cried.  In fact, I bawled a couple of times.  Finally DTTF told me that if I really wanted to keep him, we could.

 

So I thought about it, weighed my heart against my head, and talked it over with DTTF a bit more.  I love the idea of Tree Faerie growing up with a kitten, and he’s just so adorably fun and full of life.  I know he’s going to need a vet trip or few to get shots and fixed.  He’s going to tear things up and break things.  All in all, I just did not want to give him up.  So, I called our friend back and told her she couldn’t have him.

 

When we decided to keep him, we also decided we needed to come up with a name that we could agree upon.  Because of his big ears, his cuteness, and his feistiness, we settled on Gizmo, named after the Magui in Gremlins

 

Yay!

=|=

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I'm in LOVE!

***This may post twice because I’m resending it since it didn’t post yesterday.***

Thursday night DTTF and Sash went shopping together for my birthday present.  When they were coming out of the mall, this adorable gray-striped kitten with huge ears was begging them for food.  They went to Wal-Mart and picked up a couple of cans of cat food and went back to the mall.  They tried for over an hour to catch him to no avail, so they left the cans of food for him with the plan that we would all go together on Friday night to catch him. 

 

So, on Friday night, I packed up the cat carrier, some towels, and a couple of small containers of wet food, and we went to try to catch him.  He was definitely interested in us but was very skittish.  The kitten was very drawn to Tree Faerie, even chasing the stroller from a safe distance away.  We tried for almost two hours and came close a couple of times, but again we went home without the kitten. 

 

On Saturday evening, we were in the area again, so we decided to stop and try one more time.  We were walking around where he’d been seen the previous two nights.  We couldn’t hear him or anything, but I kept getting the strong urge to go down the stairs that led to another area of the parking lot.  As soon as I got to the bottom, I could hear him.  I was carrying Tree Faerie, and we followed the sound of the kitty’s voice while Tree Faerie kept saying, “Here, kitty-kitty,” or at least what could easily be translated into such.  I looked in the bushes and couldn’t see him, but I could hear him as his cries became more persistent.  DTTF was between the bushes and the outside wall of the mall, and Sash was up the hill a little ways looking in the bushes.  I started walking around the outside of the bushes towards Sash, where I thought the mews were coming from, but before I got to her I realized they were still coming from the area of the bushes. 

 

Since I was pretty certain he hadn’t been in the bushes, I looked up.  There he was, clinging to a tree branch!  DTTF headed toward the tree, which made the kitten only climb higher.  When DTTF started climbing the tree, the kitten stopped and clung on for dear life.  DTTF reached up with his long, beautiful arms (I love my husband’s arms) and plucked the kitty off the tree.  Since Sash was closer, taller, and had free hands, he handed the kitten down to her.  We walked back to the car and put the kitten in the carrier.  The poor thing was scared!

 

Once we got him home, we put Storm, my first rescue kitty whom I bottle fed from a week old, upstairs in the bedroom.  We opened the carrier and the itty bitty kitten tentatively ventured out, and when he was sure no one was going to snatch him up, he promptly darted for the futon.  He mewed and explored, and oddly hated being left alone.   When I was getting Tree Faerie ready for bed, he followed us to the office and explored a bit.  I went ahead and put water some of the canned cat food in the extra food and water dish we have and let him follow me to the kitchen.  He seemed more interested in exploring rather than eating, so I went ahead and took Tree Faerie upstairs and put her to bed.

 

When I came back downstairs, DTTF and Sash were outside hanging out.  The kitten, who we were calling Sprite at the time, followed me from the living room to the kitchen, where I’d gone to get a glass of water.  Still skittish, he darted into the office when I came out of the kitchen, so I went and sat in the office floor.  He came up to investigate me, and I reached out and petted him briefly before Storm hissed at him and he skittered off.  I grabbed my water and went outside, letting him be for a bit.

 

A little while later I came back inside and sat down in front of the kitchen, near the office door.  He came up to investigate me again, and this time I picked him up and petted him until he was purring loudly and begging for more.  I set him down in front of his food, and he started gulping it down.  Letting him eat in peace, I went back outside elated.

 

Now, I am not the “cat person” of the family.  That would be DTTF.  Cats that hate humans love DTTF for some reason, even though he does absolutely nothing to ask for their attention.  Even Storm, who I bottle fed from a week old and played “mommy” to only loves on me when she’s desperate, hungry, or sick.  She drools on DTTF and demands his attention regularly.  So, being the first one to receive affectionate contact from this kitten is a huge deal for me!  I think DTTF was actually a little disappointed that it was me instead of him, but logically, I was the only one who didn’t handle him when he was being “rescued,” or in his mind snatched from his tree and stuck in a dark carrier in a dark box that moved and made noise (the car).

 

The more I watched, petted, and loved on this kitten, the more I became convinced that Rascal was a more suiting name for him.  Sprite is a cute name, but Rascal seems to really fit.

 

Needless to say, by the time 24 hours had passed, Rascal had made himself quite at home.  He loved on me yesterday whenever he wasn’t napping, and began to accept love from everyone else, too.  He is still drawn to Tree Faerie and will chase her as she runs through the house.  He even lets her kick at him, which I am trying stop.  I crocheted him a toy with jingles and fringe stuffed with batting and catnip, and he plays with it alone or with someone. 

 

We may not get to keep Rascal, especially since I agreed that we would find him a good home if DTTF doesn’t want to keep him, but I’m really enjoying the time I have with him now.  He is absolutely adorable!  DTTF figures him to be about 4 or 5 weeks old, although I think he’s a little older, about 6 or 7 weeks old.  He’s tiny, but he has good coordination, especially since he’s been eating well.

 

I’m in love with this kitty!  He has a lot of spunk and a lot of love.  When he looks up at me with those big blue eyes, my heart just melts.  The stripes coming off his eyes are strikingly beautiful.  Now that he is getting lots of love and petting, even his fur is healthier, and we’ve only had him since Saturday.  It’s amazing to see how much he’s blossomed in such a short amount of time.  I will always feel good knowing that we gave him the opportunity to have a safe, loving, and healthy life, no matter where he goes from here.

 

=|=

 

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm in LOVE!

Thursday night DTTF and Sash went shopping together for my birthday present.  When they were coming out of the mall, this adorable gray-striped kitten with huge ears was begging them for food.  They went to Wal-Mart and picked up a couple of cans of cat food and went back to the mall.  They tried for over an hour to catch him to no avail, so they left the cans of food for him with the plan that we would all go together on Friday night to catch him. 

So, on Friday night, I packed up the cat carrier, some towels, and a couple of small containers of wet food, and we went to try to catch him.  He was definitely interested in us but was very skittish.  The kitten was very drawn to Tree Faerie, even chasing the stroller from a safe distance away.  We tried for almost two hours and came close a couple of times, but again we went home without the kitten. 

On Saturday evening, we were in the area again, so we decided to stop and try one more time.  We were walking around where he'd been seen the previous two nights.  We couldn't hear him or anything, but I kept getting the strong urge to go down the stairs that led to another area of the parking lot.  As soon as I got to the bottom, I could hear him.  I was carrying Tree Faerie, and we followed the sound of the kitty's voice while Tree Faerie kept saying, "Here, kitty-kitty," or at least what could easily be translated into such.  I looked in the bushes and couldn't see him, but I could hear him as his cries became more persistent.  DTTF was between the bushes and the outside wall of the mall, and Sash was up the hill a little ways looking in the bushes.  I started walking around the outside of the bushes towards Sash, where I thought the mews were coming from, but before I got to her I realized they were still coming from the area of the bushes. 

Since I was pretty certain he hadn't been in the bushes, I looked up.  There he was, clinging to a tree branch!  DTTF headed toward the tree, which made the kitten only climb higher.  When DTTF started climbing the tree, the kitten stopped and clung on for dear life.  DTTF reached up with his long, beautiful arms (I love my husband's arms) and plucked the kitty off the tree.  Since Sash was closer, taller, and had free hands, he handed the kitten down to her.  We walked back to the car and put the kitten in the carrier.  The poor thing was scared!

Once we got him home, we put Storm, my first rescue kitty whom I bottle fed from a week old, upstairs in the bedroom.  We opened the carrier and the itty bitty kitten tentatively ventured out, and when he was sure no one was going to snatch him up, he promptly darted for the futon..  He mewed and explored, and oddly hated being left alone.   When I was getting Tree Faerie ready for bed, he followed us to the office and explored a bit.  I went ahead and put water some of the canned cat food in the extra food and water dish we have and let him follow me to the kitchen.  He seemed more interested in exploring rather than eating, so I went ahead and took Tree Faerie upstairs and put her to bed.

When I came back downstairs, DTTF and Sash were outside hanging out.  The kitten, who we were calling Sprite at the time, followed me from the living room to the kitchen, where I'd gone to get a glass of water.  Still skittish, he darted into the office when I came out of the kitchen, so I went and sat in the office floor.  He came up to investigate me, and I reached out and petted him briefly before Storm hissed at him and he skittered off.  I grabbed my water and went outside, letting him be for a bit.

A little while later I came back inside and sat down in front of the kitchen, near the office door.  He came up to investigate me again, and this time I picked him up and petted him until he was purring loudly and begging for more.  I set him down in front of his food, and he started gulping it down.  Letting him eat in peace, I went back outside elated.

Now, I am not the "cat person" of the family.  That would be DTTF.  Cats that hate humans love DTTF for some reason, even though he does absolutely nothing to ask for their attention.  Even Storm, who I bottle fed from a week old and played "mommy" to only loves on me when she's desperate, hungry, or sick.  She drools on DTTF and demands his attention regularly.  So, being the first one to receive affectionate contact from this kitten is a huge deal for me!  I think DTTF was actually a little disappointed that it was me instead of him, but logically, I was the only one who didn't handle him when he was being "rescued," or in his mind snatched from his tree and stuck in a dark carrier in a dark box that moved and made noise (the car).

The more I watched, petted, and loved on this kitten, the more I became convinced that Rascal was a more suiting name for him.  Sprite is a cute name, but Rascal seems to really fit.

Needless to say, by the time 24 hours had passed, Rascal had made himself quite at home.  He loved on me yesterday whenever he wasn't napping, and began to accept love from everyone else, too.  He is still drawn to Tree Faerie and will chase her as she runs through the house.  He even lets her kick at him, which I am trying stop.  I crocheted him a toy with jingles and fringe stuffed with batting and catnip, and he plays with it alone or with someone. 

We may not get to keep Rascal, especially since I agreed that we would find him a good home if DTTF doesn't want to keep him, but I'm really enjoying the time I have with him now.  He is absolutely adorable!  DTTF figures him to be about 4 or 5 weeks old, although I think he's a little older, about 6 or 7 weeks old.  He's tiny, but he has good coordination, especially since he's been eating well.

I'm in love with this kitty!  He has a lot of spunk and a lot of love.  When he looks up at me with those big blue eyes, my heart just melts.  The stripes coming off his eyes are strikingly beautiful.  Now that he is getting lots of love and petting, even his fur is healthier, and we've only had him since Saturday.  It's amazing to see how much he's blossomed in such a short amount of time.  I will always feel good knowing that we gave him the opportunity to have a safe, loving, and healthy life, no matter where he goes from here.

=|=

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dragonfly Cloth Test Pattern

This is my first attempt at converting a knit pattern to Tunisian crochet.  If you test this pattern, please leave a comment letting me know what you think, good or bad.  I plan to edit this with any corrections I need to make.

Original Pattern (with photo)

Stitches used:

Tunisian Simple Stitch (tss) (explained here)

Tunisian Knit Stitch (tks) (explained here and here)

Tunisian Purl Stitch (tps) (explained here and on the second link above) – This stitch can be replaced by the Reverse Afghan Stitch***, a.k.a Kim & ARNie's Purl Stitch.

***The stitch is explained very well in this class.  It's the 2nd row of stitches she explains.  The first is just the foundation row.

 

Chain 38.

Foundation Row: In 2nd chain from hook, *insert hook through back bar of the chain, yarn over (yo) and pull through chain, leaving the loop on the hook**.  Repeat * to ** for each chain.  (38 loops on hook) 

Row Finish off:  YO.  Pull through one loop on hook.  *YO and pull through 2 loops on hook**.  Repeat from * to ** until only one loop remains on hook.

Rows 1 & 2:  38 tps.  Finish off (every row should be finished off after completing it).

Rows 3 & 4:  1 tss,  2 tps,  32 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss.

Rows 5 – 12:  1 tss,  2 tps,  15 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss. 

Row 13:  1 tss,  2 tps,  4 tks,  6 tps,  5 tks,  2 tps,  5 tks,  6 tps,  4 tks,  2 tps,  1tss

Row 14:  1 tss,  2 tps,  1 tks,  12 tps,  2 tks,  2 tps,  2 tks,  12 tps,  1 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 15:  1 tss,  2 tps,  3 tks,  26 tps,  3 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 16:  1 tss,  2 tps,  13 tks,  6 tps,  13 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 17:  1 tss,  2 tps,  7 tks,  18 tps,  7 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 18:  1 tss,  2 tps,  5 tks,  8 tps,  1 tks,  4 tps,  1 tks,  8 tps,  5 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 19:  1 tss,  2 tps,  4 tks,  7 tps,  3 tks,  4 tps,  3 tks,  7 tps,  4 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 20:  1 tss,  2 tps,  3 tks,  6 tps,  5 tks,  4 tps,  5 tks,  6 tps,  3 tks,  2 tps,  1tss

Row 21:  1 tss,  2 tps,  3 tks,  3 tps,  8 tks,  4 tps,  8 tks,  3 tps,  3 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 22:  1 tss,  2 tps,  12 tks,  3 tps,  2 tks,  2 tps,  12 tks,  2 tps,  1 tss

Row 23 & 24:  1 tss,  2 tps,  32 tks,  2 tps,  1tss

Row 25 & 26:  38 tps 

Binding Row:  *Insert hook through front vertical bar of next stitch, YO and pull through.  YO and pull through both loops on hook.**  Repeat from * to **.  When the last stitch is complete, fasten off and weave in ends, or do a border of single crochet around the entire piece, making sure to chain 1 to start and putting 3 stitches in each corner.

***The stitch is explained very well in this class.  It's the 2nd row of stitches she explains.  The first is just the foundation row.


She’s Crafty…

…in the innocent sense, of course!

I occasionally get an extreme urge to crochet or sew, especially when my brain is working overtime on something.  This time around, the urge was definitely to crochet.  I played around with a couple of projects, started DTTF's Doctor Who scarf (which I may frog and start again with a larger hook), and made a scarf for a wonderful friend, Sash.  Then I came across a beautiful dragonfly afghan filet crochet pattern.

Now, as I've mentioned before, I associate dragonflies with Tree Faerie and always have, so when I saw this pattern, I just knew it had to be created for her.  I picked out a pretty frosty green for the main color and found a shade of purple and a variegated yarn that compliment the green well.  After I got my yarn home and looked at the pattern again, I decided to add a touch of yellow to the mix as well. 

I started working on the project a week ago, and since I am learning a new crochet technique with this pattern, I had to frog (rip out) a couple of rows because I couldn't correct certain errors without doing so.  I finally made up my own notes to work with in order to ensure that I didn't get lost in the pattern, and since then have completed an average of 2 rows a night.  I'm now 40% done with the center panel.

I am so excited about this project!  I promise to post pictures when I'm done.  The picture of the original pattern can be found here.  This project has a lot of promise.  I don't know if I'm going to add one layer of border or two.  It all depends on the size once I'm done with the first border.  I am considering putting the afghan away after I'm done so I can present it to her when she's older and will appreciate it more – maybe as a gift for when she turns 5.  DTTF also suggested hanging it on her wall.  I'll have to ponder that, because hanging it unsupported may stretch the stitches.

I'm also pondering converting knit patterns into Tunisian crochet.  Since many knit stitches can be replicated to a certain degree with Tunisian crochet, this should not be difficult.  It's like putting a puzzle together, but instead of having the original pieces, you have to make your own.

Do you ever get the feeling your brain works TOO much?

=|=

Monday, August 4, 2008

"Oooh, the Pretty Trees!"

After all is said and done, the past weekend was absolutely wonderful.  Only two things went as planned, and everything else was shaken, tossed into the air, and allowed to fall freely.  The result was something beautiful, meaningful, and fulfilling.  We were able to provide sleeping space to friends who suddenly were without, thus we also spent valuable visiting time.  Due to scheduling conflicts which resulted in a lack of participation, a previous engagement was cancelled, leaving us with a free afternoon.  The weekend was wrapped in love, family, friendship, and acceptance.  Despite the continuing lack of sleep, I still feel refreshed and relaxed.

The cliché, "Can't see the forest for the trees," is one that has repeated in my mind several times over the past few months and even comes up in conversation.  I am a detail-oriented person.  I love detail.  I love how all the little pieces fit together to make the big picture.  Sometimes, however, I get so focused on those little details that I forget that those little pieces make up the whole world and that I have to view them collectively.  In essence, I get stuck in the trees.

After nearly 28 years of life, I just recently noticed a pattern to my processes.  If I find something to clean, something that has absolutely no relation to what is going on in my head, I am able to view the forest again.  Creating order in a piece of my physical world helps my mind get out of its repeating loop.  More order in my physical space creates more order in my mental, emotional, and spiritual spaces.  When things are not in order, I feel disjointed, disconnected, overwhelmed, unfocused, somewhat pessimistic, and emotionally chaotic.

In true Virgo fashion, I love to organize and categorize things.  A place for everything and everything in its place, as the saying goes.  Sometimes I get focused on other things and let clutter pile up, but when I go back and remove that clutter, leaving everything neat and orderly, everything in my life improves.  One would think my house would be spotless.  It is certainly not.  However, when I get the urge to clean, I know it is in everyone's best interest if I give in to that urge. 

A couple of bigger projects have been tackled and we've been keeping up with the routine projects fairly well recently.  If I continue to use the energy created from my spiritual, mental, and emotional growth as fuel to get my physical space in order, and that order helps me to grow with fewer internal battles, then not only will I be a better, more stable woman, I will also have a cleaner, less cluttered home, car, and workspace.

I just have to keep reminding myself to look at the forest.

=|=

Friday, August 1, 2008

Tick-Tock Goes the Clock

After pondering what I need versus what I want, I've come to the conclusion that while yes, there are basic needs and yes, there are many wants that are not needs, the two often interlink.  For example, from my husband, I want time.  I want good quality time, time when we enjoy each other's company and show our appreciation for one another.  In order for our partnership to work, this also becomes a need.  This is a need of the relationship. 

Not only do I want quality time, I also need time to discuss issues and feelings and general life views.  While communication time can also be quality time, sometimes it does not fit into the category of quality time because if the discussions are tense and the issues are not resolved, then the need for quality time was not fulfilled due to the topic of conversation and the abundance of overwhelming emotion. 

Sometimes time has to be set aside as quality time, especially when one or both of us are dealing with an issue.  If time has to be set aside to simply enjoy each other's company, then the issues have to be tabled until after the need for quality time has been satisfied.  If all our time is spent discussing issues, then the need for quality time gets neglected.  When our quality time need is neglected and we are not making sure the other person knows they're appreciated, then the communication attempts suffer and thus, the relationship suffers.

Sometimes quality time can be spent with other people, but it is also important to have quality time alone as well.  As parents, our alone time is already limited to times when either our child is asleep or in someone else's care.  As active and social individuals, and as an active and social couple, this limits our alone time even more. 

I often feel time is not on my side and feel overwhelmed by my list of things I need to do and the list of things I want to do.  Time is one of my most difficult hurdles to overcome because I perceive it as very finite.  I end up sacrificing sleep and other needs in order to fulfill my time needs with DTTF, both quality time and communication time.

When the usage of time is beyond my control, I feel the urge to try to control it.  I try to develop a schedule.  Even when looking over the next day or week or month, I try to know what's coming and be prepared, especially if I am having difficulty with internal issues.  Dealing with difficult internal issues increases my need for quality, reassuring time.  When I am feeling a strong desire to spend quality time and I am unable to see a time when we can have more than an hour alone and together without sacrificing all other needs, I feel anxious.  I feel helpless.  I feel alone.

For years, DTTF and I did almost everything together.  I knew that the time when we weren't working would most often be spent together.  While he's always had the freedom to do other things with his time besides spend it alone with me or together as a couple, he usually chose to spend his time with me.   Now things have changed.  Many things have changed.

Having a child changed how we spend a lot of our time.  Because Tree Faerie is unable to provide for herself, one if not both of us have to provide for her needs, except for those occasional times when she is in someone else's care.  Therefore, there are often social events that we cannot attend together because one of us has to stay home with our daughter.  Also, having a child makes it difficult to stay up all night talking or playing games because our daughter insists that I get up in the morning.  I know things won't always be this way, however this is the way things are right now.

Because our social needs are also changing and becoming more apparent, this affects our alone time in that we don't get as much alone time..  We get more social time.  Because of my feelings of being overwhelmed often cause me to not want to be social as often as DTTF, I end up spending time alone instead of alone with him.  Even when a friend or few come over to our house as opposed to DTTF going out, when I'm not feeling the desire to be social even with close and intimate friends, I usually extract myself.  If I don't extract myself, I often react in a curt and irritable manner.  Removing myself from the situation is safer for all involved, especially when we would like the friendship to continue.

Occasionally we get wonderful quality time together, as we did last weekend.  One would think this would be enough, but this is one of those needs that constantly must be replenished.  Sometimes the satisfaction lasts longer than others.  During difficult times, however, the satisfaction of the need being fulfilled does not last very long.

I hate asking for more quality alone time, especially when I think or know he would prefer to be during a time I am wanting to be alone.  I often feel that I am too needy and ask for too much.  I get into a downward spiral of self-destruction because I don't want to ask for what I think I need or what I want, especially if I am afraid of disappointing him because I am needy.  I also hate asking for quality alone time because I know he has other commitments to fulfill – mundanely, spiritually, and socially.  I don't want his other commitments to suffer.

I was hoping that typing this out would help me process it and find a solution to change the way I'm feeling without having to ask for more.  I am stuck, though.  I don't know where to go from here, so instead I'll leave you with a few quotes about growth:

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots. – Frank A. Clark

"Growth demands a temporary surrender of security." – Gail Sheehy

"All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work." – Calvin Coolidge

"In studying the history of the human mind one is impressed again and again by the fact that the growth of the mind is the widening of the range of consciousness, and that each step forward has been a most painful and laborious achievement. One could almost say that nothing is more hateful to man than to give up even a particle of his unconsciousness. Ask those who have tried to introduce a new idea!" – Carl Jung

"There is a wide world out there, my friend, full of pain, but filled with joy as well. The former keeps you on the path of growth, and the latter makes the journey tolerable." – R. A. Salvatore, Sojourn

"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell." – Edward Abbey

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