When We Grow Up

What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing it? Antique Mommy has a great post today about that exact thing, and it, with a little help from Manic Mom's post, inspired a lot of thinking.

I've ALWAYS wanted to be a mom, but that's the only thing that I've consistently wanted to be. And now I'm a mom. I love it, just as I knew I would and despite the lack of sleep and lack of personal time.

The other thing I wanted to be that I still have the desire for - a writer. When I was a kid, I used to write short stories, poetry, and even started a novel when I was 13, though I only wrote about 7 chapters. I wrote it in pencil in a wide-ruled spiral-bound notebook, and my handwriting is so atrocious that by the time I was working on the 7th chapter, I couldn't read the first.

Well, now I type. I type MUCH faster and, of course, more clearly than I write with a pen. What's stopping me from writing a book? I can type almost as fast as I can think and still be able to READ what I typed, whereas when I'm writing by hand, if I'm on a roll, it takes an interpreter to figure out what I wrote. Seriously. And even then, they're guessing.

I have a couple of book ideas rolling around in my head. I might as well spit them out, let them have a bit of water/sunshine/love, and watch them grow just to see what they become.

What's stopping me, you ask? Laziness. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear that I won't complete yet another project.

I use the excuse that I don't know how to start writing a book. That's B.S. I know how to start writing. First, I have to get the idea out. I just don't feel like I know where to take it from there. I've done copy-editing, so I know that most books go through many changes before being published. I am just afraid that I won't be able to get it to the point where it can even be SUBMITTED to a publishing company.

Okay, now that I've exposed my fears, maybe seeing them in black-and-white will help me overcome them and get motivated enough to start writing...

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Other things I've wanted to be when I grew up (in no particular order):
Actor
Singer
Musician
Dancer
Marine Biologist
Medical Doctor
Librarian
Veteranarian
Massage Therapist
Naturopath
Lawyer
President of the United States
Herbalist

The ones I still have interest in are blue, and those are things I can still do while writing. You know what's not on there? My current profession. Nor is the profession I was going to get a degree in. I chose the degree to persue based on practicality, not what I want. I chose the degree because it's safe, and there's always a need for it, which means job security. I think I'll still get that degree because that degree can easily lead into other degrees, but I think I will also go ahead and start writing.