Thursday, May 1, 2008


Hi! My brain? Yeah. It doesn't work.

You know what that means? My fingers don't work either. I've been very friendly with my backspace key today.

My feet don't work. Do you know how embarrassing it is to trip at work? At least I didn't bust my butt or fall on my face.

My mouth doesn't work. I've stuttered and stammered repeatedly today. I've given up on speaking, and it's not even 10 AM.

My eyes don't work. I keep having to blink and refocus. Scrolling through Excel spreadsheets while not able to focus on the numbers is a sure way to develop a migraine.

"What is the cause of this systemic dysfunction?" you ask?


My child, my wonderfully adorable child, decided she did not want me to sleep last night. She wanted to nurse and snuggle and sleep in my arms in the rocking chair. My bed was not acceptable. Her bed was not acceptable. At one point I was finally so exhausted that I put her back in her bed and just let her scream for a moment to see if she'd go to sleep so that I could lie prone for a moment.. Amazingly, she did!

For an hour...

It was so tempting to drop her off at daycare and go back home to sleep. I decided against it because I'd like to actually use my vacation time for things like visiting with my mom when she drives up, because that's probably going to happen in the middle of the week. I just don't know which week yet.

Or flying to CO to have some much needed reconnection with people I hold dear to my heart.

Or flying to FL to have much the same with other people I hold dear.

Or going to PUF.

Or... Or... Or... I don't know what else. But it won't be spur of the moment sleeping, because I would be highly disappointed if I took a mental health day to get extra sleep and then was unable to sleep. That kind of disappointment may just cause me to snap. And we don't want the mommy to snap.

Tonight, however, I will be carting myself off to bed as soon as I get the kiddo in bed and have showered. Even if Tree Faerie decides to get me up off and on all night, at least we'll get an early start.


Happy Beltane!



Annikke said...

Gotta love those days. Just remember there will come a time when she will sleep and sleep (I'm talking teenage years) and you'll wish you could hold her....

I was thinking that might help, but as I type it I realize how silly it sounds! LOL

Hang in there and good luck tonight

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Ah, I hear ya. We made LittleBird start in her bed last night. If she migrates later on in the night, fine. I worked out well enough, but we are still exhausted from the middle-of-the-night wakings.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Hopefully this won't last too long. Maybe she's getting ready for a developmental leap? Hopefully you'll get some decent sleep tonight, hon!

Monnik said...

oh, you poor thing. Get some rest tonight, ok?

Patti said...

for me there is nothing as hard as lack of sleep. will it make you feel better to know that all too soon you will look back on these days wistfully?

KATE said...

I'm so sorry for your lack of sleep! I can completely relate!! I hope you can get some sleep soon!

Bianca said...

Sometimes my cats won't let me sleep either. One of them likes to lay on my pillow and pull my hair with his teeth until I wake up.

Oh and happy belated Belaine to you guys!

carrie & troy keiser said...

Oh I feel for you! I do hope TF decided to sleep for you. I hope that things are going better.