Friday, April 4, 2008

Seeking Motivation

I was not going to post about my attempt to lose weight, however I need a bit of motivation.  First, we’ll start with a bit of history.


For years, I was slim and strong, and at the time I was living in the country and had to help take care of a huge yard along with other projects.  I stayed fairly active and ate whatever was put before me.  After I moved to Memphis to be with DTTF, I gained 20 lbs. in 4 years.  Then I got married…


For multiple reasons, most of them surrounding my first marriage and my views on marriage, this sent me into depression.  I am an emotional eater.  Couple that with quitting smoking and I packed on the pounds.  I gained 30 lbs in 6 months. 


(If you have been doing the math, you should have come up with a weight-gain of 50 lbs in 4.5 years.)


This did not help my depression any.  Since we were getting ready to try to have a child, I knew I needed to be healthier and feel better about myself quickly.  I decided to try the Slim-Fast plan.  Surprisingly, it worked!  In 2 weeks, I had lost 12 lbs, and I was feeling great!  I kept losing 1-2 lbs a week, and then I got pregnant.


The lost weight suddenly – and I do mean suddenly – found its way back to me.  Of course, I stopped following the Slim-Fast plan because I thought one was not supposed to try to lose weight while pregnant.  Because the weight came back so quickly, I count my original weight as my pre-pregnancy weight.  During the pregnancy, I gained another 40 lbs.  I came home from the hospital after having Tree Faerie weighing the same as I did at the doctor’s office 3 days before due to “moderate” edema (or swelling). 


Within about 6 months, I was back down to my “adjusted” pre-pregnancy weight.  Since then, I’ve lost another 10, but I reached a plateau at that weight, which is still 40 lbs heavier than when DTTF and I got together.  Because Tree Faerie is starting to wean, I decided I needed to kick-start the weight loss.  I wanted to go about things sensibly, and I also knew that I needed to keep track of everything.  If I don’t keep track of everything, I can easily overdo certain things, like eating fudge from the kitchen at work (oh, I’ll just have a little bite on my way by – every single time I go by).  I have to play a numbers game to keep me on track.


Because of my results last time, and because of their awesome – and free – online tracking program, I decided to try my luck with the Slim-Fast Plan again.  I count my starting date as Monday, March 31, 2008, though I did my weigh-in on Friday.  I loved the weight the scale gave me on Friday, however when I weighed Tree Faerie the following day, somehow I’d gained 5 lbs.  I still kept my Friday weight as my starting weight, though.


Now I’m wondering if I should have re-weighed myself on Monday, because when I weighed myself this morning, there was no change in my weight from Friday to Friday.  Which I guess is a good thing because I didn’t gain weight, but it’s still not very motivating. The thing is that I feel great, and my clothes fit a bit looser (I wish I’d taken my measurements).  Yesterday was the first day I wasn’t hungry all day, so I’m starting to get used to eating better.  I have a plan, and I have control.  I’m eating practically all day long.  I need to work on fitting more exercise into my day.  In fact, fitting any intentional exercise would be nice. 


So, I’m not going to count this week as a win or loss.  I’m going to count it as a draw.  This was my “let’s see if I can do this” week.  I will continue on as planned.  I will try to make a bigger effort to be active (no rain would be nice so I could get outside), and we’ll see where that gets us by next week.  Oh, and I’ll also see what I can do about taking measurements.  I won’t beat myself up or quit over indulgences (such as the beer I plan to have tonight with a girlfriend), but will instead try to be more active to compensate for my transgressions.


Wish me luck!



Not Afraid to Use It said...

Hurray to you! That is AWESOME that you are doing something to make yourself feel better--whatever that something is! Esp. the part of compensating for your transgressions. There is nothing wrong with having a beer with your friend. Just adjust accordingly the next day or week and all will be well.

I am super excited for you! I can't wait to read more as the weeks go by!

KATE said...

Good Job & I am totally wishing you luck! It sounds like you are on the right track! Keep it up!!!
Take your measurments right now! They will change the most long before the weight does. (I have to remind myself of that constantly!)

Good Luck to You!!!

namaste said...

andrea, you're already beautiful inside and out (from the pic of you and tree on your blog). and if losing weight will make you feel better then i say GO FOR IT! i'm routing for you! and like kate said, it sounds like you're already on the right track. good luck hon! :)


TTQ said...

You go girl. My goal is to never weigh more than I did on my wedding day. Actually I would like to lose 20 lbs... But I have to be careful so I don't go too much either way.

I use you can track calories and weight and it gives you a goal and what not. It keeps me on track, though when I'm sick for too long honey cooks and he has no idea what a calorie or a fat gram is.. But I get back on the logging and recover pretty quick. We keep slimfast in the fridge for breakfast since both of us tend to skip breakfast.It's betterthan walking around without any fuel all day.