Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Sun Is Shining, But...

...it might as well be cold and dreary. I'm just having one of those crabby days where I'd love to go home, lock all the doors, close all the shades, and crawl into bed, covering my head with the blanket so that only my nose sticks out. Of course, I'd be laying there feeling guilty for leaving my daughter at daycare while I could be spending time with her, or feel guilty because DTTF would be at work while I'm at home, or feel lazy and useless because there's a thousand other things I need to be doing instead of laying in bed with my head covered.

(This post seems to be full of run-on sentences, but today I don't care.)

DTTF occasionally suggests I take Tree Faerie to daycare then take the day off to have a bit of time for myself. I just don't have the time to do that right now. I'm taking a day off in a week and a half because we'll be playing in the woods, but I hesitate to take time for MYSELF because I'm afraid that as soon as I do and I no longer have the personal time available, Tree Faerie will get sick again and have to stay home from daycare. When Tree Faerie has to stay home from daycare, that means I have to stay home from work.

I know this won't be forever. I know that as Tree Faerie gets older, I'll have a bit more time. I think right now I'm just tired and need a little break.

4 comments:

Darla said...

Sounds so familiar! It's hard to ever take much needed time to yourself without guilt! Now, since I've become a little more "travel-worn" or calloused, just a bit more, I am able to just tell my kids (they are old enough to understand) that a happy me=a happy mom! It's not like I take my own time very often but when I need it, I need it! Everyone needs their own time periodically to be able to hang on to at least a grain of their own identity!

carrie & troy keiser said...

I agree with Darla. But I also know how hard it is to just do it and take the time. Good luck with that one.

Monnik said...

I struggle with the guilt of taking time for me too, even after being a parent for 14 years.

I still don't take the day off and leave my kids in daycare. Even when I work from home (like today) I keep my youngest home with me (my older two are in school). I think this is some kind of neurosis of mine, though, because EVERYONE I know takes a day or two every so often for themselves. I just feel too guilty. Which is dumb, but that's me.

I do take time to myself, though. I take it in the evenings when my husband is home to watch the kids, and on the weekends. Not for long periods of time, but long enough to take a run, go grab some coffee at a bookstore, etc.

Andrea said...

Grabbing coffee at a bookstore sounds like a wonderful plan... I think I might just do that...