Not a Normal Woman

After a conversation DTTF and I had on Wednesday night that was later hit home by this post by Heather at Three Boys and Me, I have no choice but to admit that I am not a Normal woman. Here's why:

• I do not wear make-up. In fact, the only make-up I own is mascara and eyeliner. I have these items around JUST IN CASE the need to feel a little extra made-up arises. I honestly can't remember the last time I wore actual make-up all over my face. I recently read an article that stated that the average woman absorbs 4 lbs of chemicals from make-up a year. I absorb my 4 lbs from chocolate instead.



• I do not regularly use hair products besides shampoo and conditioner or spend much time on my hair at all. I don't even own hair spray. I know I have mouse under the bathroom sink, but I've only used it a few times in the past 6 years or so.



• I do NOT wear perfume. I'm allergic/sensitive to most of the perfumes on the market. I even sniff the shampoo and conditioner before I purchase them just to be sure they aren't overly scented.



• I rarely shave my legs. Granted, I am not a very hairy person. The hair on my legs grows in very fine and blonde. I do shave my pits once a week or so, and I keep certain other areas trimmed and neat, but I definitely count myself lucky.



• I don't get manicures or pedicures. In fact, I've never received a pedicure. On rare occasion I paint my fingernails or toenails, and when I do, it's always either a light color or a shocking color. If it's a shocking color, I usually take it off after a day or two. If it's a light color and it's on my toenails, it may wear off before I get around to taking it off.



• I don't sacrifice comfort for fashion. I own one pair of heels, and I can't remember the last time I wore them. I won't wear an outfit that is uncomfortable in any way. Before I purchase clothing, I always check the tag. If it is not machine washable, I put it back, no matter how cute I looked in it.



• The only "hose" I own are fishnets. I don't wear hose. On the off-chance that I must dress up and wear heels and hose, I'll go out and purchase a cheap pair. Because they're cheap, they usually have holes in them before the end of the night. I'll buy thigh-highs or knee-highs if I can get away with it.



• I don't buy cute bras. First-off, they usually don't have any in my size, either because everyone is that size or no one is. Second, see the comfort comment above. Once I find a bra that is comfortable, I usually buy at least 2 - one beige and one black. I wear them until they're practically falling apart.

That's just the list of appearance items we could come up with! We didn't even discuss my affinity for fart jokes and innuendos. I play video games, know the rules of football, and can skin dead animals properly. I don't watch chick-flicks because I really don't need a reason to cry.

My husband concurred that while I may not be a "normal" woman, I'm a real woman, and this is part of the reason he loves me so much. (insert the "awww" here)

So I took a test:

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female. You are both sensitive and savvy. Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed. But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve.

What Gender Is Your Brain?