Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Spoiled My Child

I'm guilty. I'll be the first to admit that I spoil my child, at least according to "the experts." I still have not night-weaned Tree Faerie. I also still nurse her to sleep. She still wakes up in the middle of the night to nurse. She still sleeps in my room. Sometimes she even sleeps in my bed, though only for short periods of time. I only bring her back to bed with me if I'm extremely tired or if I'm having a hard time getting her to go back down. I only keep her there until she starts moving around, a sign that she wants to be on her tummy instead of her side, at which point I can usually put her back in her own bed. My reason for putting her back in her own bed are completely selfish, though. I put her back in her bed so that I can sleep better.

Last night I actually put her to sleep in my bed by side-nursing. Tree Faerie just DID NOT want me to put her in her bed! Lately there have been several nights when she didn't want to nurse to sleep, so I put her in her bed, where she would fidget (but not fuss) around until she got comfortable, then she went to sleep. Last night was not one of those nights. She apparently wanted me to hold her.

Once I finally got her fully asleep, I put her in her bed, and she slept for 5 hours. Of course, when she woke up to nurse she didn't want to go back to her bed. She wanted to be held again, so I held her until she was fully back asleep, then I put her back in her bed. She slept for another 2 hours and woke up happy.

The more mothering experience I get under my belt the easier it is to not badger myself with what the experts think. Plus, there's always at least one expert out there that agrees with what I'm doing, and if I look hard enough, I can find that expert. Dr. Sears would tell me I'm a good mother.

Tree Faerie's pediatrician told me yesterday morning that I was made to be a mother. I was half expecting a lecture about not night weaning when I admitted to it, but none came. Of course, this is the woman who talked me into co-sleeping because I wasn't getting any sleep. I really need to stop beating myself up over other people's opinions, especially when I find what works for us.

It may take a while to change that habit...


Monnik said...

You do what works for you... and ignore everyone else's suggestions.

My youngest is 4. She still sleeps with me sometimes. And she ALWAYS needs me to lay down with her until she falls asleep on nights that she's in her own bed.

So yeah. I'm a spoiler too. But that's cool with me.

Heather said...

Hey, when J-man wakes me up, he comes in the bed because I'm not ready to let him cry-it-out. With the twins, they cried-it-out. I couldn't handle the stress of wrangling two kids in bed. One kid? That, I can deal with. He's spoiled and I'm fine with that. Hey, J-man and Tree Faerie aren't going to be cuddling up with us at 5AM when they're 17. Just remember that and hold her tight! :-)

carrie & troy keiser said...

Hey enjoy every aspect of motherhood and don't worry about the "experts", you're the expert when it comes to TF! :) My oldest NEVER slept in his crib! To each his own! Ya gotta do what works for the child and the parents. Life is short and babies grow FAST!

Andrea said...

LOL! It's good to know I'm not the only "spoiler"! :)

Kelly Mahoney said...

My mother said I wasn't spoiled, I was overloved!